Blind trust/
Do you trust me?
~
I had a very long day today.
I woke up not with the energy of a lion,
But more of a koala that had just eaten a truck load of eucalyptus.
Exhausted, falling right back asleep every 5 minutes.
Im a night person,
Although sunshine, and warm weather, and sunny vibes are nice,
I sometimes prefer the time when everyone is more open to deep connection-
Aka
Night.
Also, a time of more peace,
Because everyone else might be sleeping, so you can just chill with your favorite bestie-
Yourself…
I guess you could say im an introvert, or a deep person.
But don't get me wrong-
Sunny beach days, warmth and trees, the hustle and bustle is awesome as well.
Anywho,
My point:
Today, a little different than the other days this week-
Which is good.
Its actually great.
Thats how its supposed to be.
In the beginning of the week, i woke up one day and a thought, a message came from my soul,
"Gd, Surprise me!"
And every day ive been waking up, feeling incredible.
More present in my life,
Breathing more.
Taking it as it goes.
Flowing.
Glowing.
Accepting.
Not controlling.
Every day, getting a ton of surprises.
Inspiration, flooding.
Today i also woke up with that message.
And today i got such a surprise,
It had to deal with needing to get a new health care insurance coverage plan,
something unexpected happened to the one i was on before, and lots of things were falling through.
And it was a whole craziness.
There were some tears, and then, im like,
Wowwww…
This too is a surprise.
And how am i going to react to it?
I was crying a little bit from stress…
Hey,
Guess what-?
Im human…
wowwww..
Crazy right?!
So anyways,
A part of me was like ive been trying to get this done for so long, and it hasnt been working out,
I felt like i was being scammed,
And it just all felt weird…
And i was like
My trust is getting really thin.
And i used this emoji:
🤏
To express how thin i was.
And thats what hit me.
Last night i was contemplating trust belief and faith, and what they all mean, and recognizing some times in my life where i had felt super super thin,
And the time i felt like i had given up in a way…
A little bit.
And i realized;
Ok
What am i putting my trust and faith and belief in?
In Gd.
And understanding different points of my relationship with Him.
I was doing some deep personal, internal work, last night, and i came to this understanding.
Our relationship with Gd is our first and foremost relationship, all other relationships in our life come from that one,
And i was like
In this scenario,
Gd is our husband,
Our other half.
Our soulmate,
Our spouse.
And lets say for example something happens in our husbands life, and for some reason he doesnt have his job anymore…
What would you do if you were the wife?
Would you get scared,
Feel uneasy, unsettled,
Nervous,
Anxious.
Unsafe.
Because this guy who was supporting you, now no longer has the ability to do that.
Were human,
Its very likely that we would get stressed.
But heres the thing.
Love.
Is this:
Love is being in that hard spot, and totally feeling safe with him.
Love is telling him,
My love, i am right here, and im not going anywhere.
You are the most incredible person,
I trust you.
I believe in you.
I have total faith in you,
in us.
That you are still able to support us.
The most spirit unraveling/crushing thing you could do to a guy in that situation is say,
Honey,
My dad is going to support us,
He is giving us money.
To that man,
You just said,
I have no faith in you.
I don't trust you that you will be able to be strong in this situation.
What makes a man feel alive is knowing that he is supporting his wife, he is taking care of her, and she can relax.
SO, try saying this instead…
My love, i know, there is no question in my being that you will use the incredible talents that Gd has given you and continues to give you, and the ones i see in you every single day, and with those, we will continue in this beautiful journey together, i support you in this time, im here, and i love you.
Let me tell you something:
You are and were priceless and incredible and beautiful in his eyes, or he would have never married you,
But now,
There are no words to describe the love he will have for you.
No limit.
You have just shown him that you are his #1 total and complete supporter.
And nothing will make him feel any different towards you.
A cheerleader.
Someone who sees how great you are and truly feels it.
And pushes you to accomplish anything your heart desires, all your goals.
That my friend,
That is love.
So, back to the scenario:
Im gonna give an awesome example real quick:
The Aladdin movie.
"Do you trust me?"
Aladdin asks Jasmine as they embark on the magic carpet ride.
She says yes.
And has the journey of a lifetime.
This right here,
Although its from a disney movie,
You can connect everything/anything to your relationship with GD.
In life, there are moments when it seems so freaking hard.
Soooooo hard.
But just imagine Gd asking you, holding out His hand
"Do you trust Me?"
I have this whole life planned out for you,
You cant see the whole thing yet,
You cant change it.
Cant see the surprise, until it happens,
The only thing you need to do/can do is trust that I love you, and that I have everything under control, and know exactly what I'm doing,
My only desire is to give you the most incredible life you deserve, because I love you so much, unlimitedly.
Take His hand.
Even with tears rolling down your face, (because you're human)
And let go of all your worries.
You are now in the hands, the embrace of your soulmate,
The Creator of the whole world, the King of the Universe,
He knows everything, and He has everything planned out for you already,
You just take His hand, feel the love, relax and enjoy the ride.
So,
Im getting to the point of this:
What happens if you're in a spot and you feel like you're on the way edge.
You only have a teenie tiny bit of trust left, because there has been so many times when you didnt understand His plan, or felt uneasy, stressed, overwhelmed, “unsafe”, in a space of unknowing…
And you're on the verge of being like, i can't do this anymore.
'
Your spouse has been looking for a job for a long time,
And the patience and trust tank is verging on empty.
Take that.
Sit with that feeling, and turn it around.
You only have a tiny bit left?
YOU ONLY HAVE A TINY BIT LEFT?!
THATS all you need.
For Gd to shove all the goodness your way.
To pour and pour and pour down on you all the goodness.
Understand that
That tiny amount of trust,
That tiny amount of trust is all you need.
Thats all Gd is looking for,
But from a really deep, genuine place.
From the depths of your heart and soul.
From the
"Min hameitzar karati Kah annani bamerchav Kah,"
“From the straights [lit. narrow] I called to G‑d, and then G‑d answered me with expansiveness [lit. wide open].”
All you need to do in that space is understand that this is the deepest, (could feel suffocating,) most intimate space you could be in.
And pour out to Gd.
Be real with Him on this one, at least.
Speak from the actual depths of your heart and soul.
In your true personal words.
Gd,
This place is really hard for me,
I know its coming from you.
And that this is somehow very good.
But im on the brink right now!
PLEASE HELP ME!
I dont know what to do.
Allow it to come from a place of deeep deeeeeep true love.
And you will be answered tremendously.
Just be REAL
With Him.
Thats all He asks for.
“Make a small opening like that of the head of a needle,
and I will open for you an opening through which caravans can enter.”
Why?
Because the love He has for us,
Is undefinable,
Inhumane.
Immeasurable,
Unfathomable
Incomprehensible to our human minds.
And all those times you have felt overwhelmed, stressed, anxious were times that had the potential to turn into this humongous opening of feeling and expressing extreme faith, trust, belief,
Love.
The cool thing is,
We always get the opportunity to show and express to GD how much we are committed and trust in Him.
It's a constant opportunity, dressed in different outfits.
This is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing this. 🤍